Sara dances
her last dance.
This week is all about breakups and makeups. First, in celebrity-split news, there's country gal Sara Evans. Ironically, not long ago she was the subject of a mass email sent out by former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, who urged his friends to vote for Sara on Dancing With The Stars (instead of talk-show smut peddler Jerry Springer or "bad girl of pop" Willa Ford) because Sara "represents good American values." But now Sara is filing for divorce from her husband, Republican Congressional candidate Craig Schelske, claiming he's a verbally abusive adulterer who watches porn in front of their children and collects hundreds of photos of himself doing the nasty with other women. (Wonder if Willa Ford is one of them?) Yikes. Sounds like Chris ought to be a guest on The Jerry Springer Show. Anyhoo, the almost equally disheartening news is Sara has decided to quit Dancing With The Stars mid-season to focus on her personal problems. Compound this with the early elimination of DWTS contestant Tucker Carlson, and it's hard to predict who DeLay will root for now...
Who will fill
Justin's catsuit?
In other bad-breakup news, Justin Hawkins has left the Darkness to focus on his sobriety. Apparently the recently rehabbed rawker doesn't think being in a hard-partyin' hard rock band is the best way for him to avoid his drug of choice, sweet cocaine. Go figure. However, unlike Sara Evans, the Darkness are not quitters: They have, bizarrely, decided to keep on rockin' in the free world without their famous frontman, possibly replacing him on vocal duties with bassist Richie Edwards (who is in fact a replacement for original bassist Frankie Poullain). We say this is not the way to go. Instead, we suggest a new season of Rock Star: The Darkness be launched to find a suitable singer that can recreate Justin's glass-shattering, eunuch-on-helium falsetto. And, if the band doesn't want to go the reality-TV route, they can just give Gary Cherone a call. We hear he's available...
Paris & Nicole
come clean.
Luckily, it's not all bad news this week. As mentioned in our intro paragraph, there are some happy reunions in the works too. First, Iggy Pop has rejoined his seminal Stooges bandmates in the studio. And, in a story that couldn't possibly be more unrelated, pop princess Paris Hilton has patched things up with Nicole Richie, which will make the jobs of The Simple Life 5's editors much, much easier. Let's just hope that the Simple Life cameras were rolling when these gal pals got together for a two-person, multi-purse-dog "slumber party" at Paris's house last weekend--footage like that might be interesting enough to give even One Night In Paris a run for its money... OK, much like Sara Evans and Craig Schelske, or Justin Hawkins and the Darkness, we have to split. But come back next Friday for more news, and until then, goodnight, and good music.
written by Lyndsey Parker 10/13/06
